So much can change in a couple days!  My last post was so positive, and I don't think todays post is going to be quite as optimistic. 

Today I called my husband crying hysterically.  I was in the midst of an emotional breakdown!  embarrassing. but true. 

These boys are priceless.  They are.  I love them.  Already.  They are full of joy and they are so interesting to experience and be around.  I am glad they are here.  I promise- I am.

And I have to remember that they are simply products of their screwed up environment.  They are not "bad".  Life has been bad to them.  They have spent a significant amount of their lives unloved by parents, in group care, and are untrained in "they ways of family life".  This can be very difficult.

Have you ever watched an episode of Supernanny where your jaw just hits the floor?  (I am glad there was no camera crew in my house today!!!)


The amazing thing about Max and Denys is that they respond really well to the talks we have with them after their timeouts.  The timeouts themselves can be ridiculously draining, because they will fight like mad for control during the timeout!  But afterwards I feel like we are making awesome progress from our little chats.  They say sorry, they do show remorse for their bad choices.  They do like us and do show the ability to love and bond with parental figures.  They answer our questions, and hug us afterward.  I do not think these boys have any bonding issues!  That is a plus!  I do think they need a loving, stable, structured and secure home for a period of time before they will trust enough to let go of control and realize they are safe. 

That they can listen and obey because we have their best interests in mind may not be a concept they can grasp yet. 

Pray that God will remind me to show His love, and not my own.  Because on my own, I will fail.  I promise.